Holiday Parties Make Me Want to Play Dead

Dear Rolo,

My calendar’s getting filled up with Holiday parties. Lots of them. Work/office parties during the week and friends/family gatherings on the weekends. It’s starting to stress me out. My tongue keeps hanging out and I’m starting to sweat it to the point that I’m wondering what’s the point?

You’re a Parti Poodle. Help!

Signed,
Blue Boy from Boston

ANSWER – 

Hey Blue Boy,

Take a chill pill! Relax. You’re a dog, go belly-up and take a nap.

I’ll start with Holiday party etiquette for the office-type-o-party. It’s not the dog park.

Always go to a party with a positive attitude. Any party. Think about it. People like to shake your hand, they’ll touch your head and maybe ruffle your hair (bring a brush or comb) and even offer you treats. And if they don’t offer, lick their plate. Or that slider they’re holding at waist level. Sniff and lick it.

Snacks automatically become yours once you do that.

Dress the part. A new, themed collar for the occasion is always a big plus. Perhaps a bow tie with Santa on it.

Do you see any other 4 legged friends there? If yes, go say hello. Take a selfie with them. Suggest a portrait at the photo booth area. Hell, suggest a custom portrait while you’re at it.

If you’re the only dog there, then you are the party.

Smile. Wag your tail. Sniff a butt or two. Have a good time.

Networking Tips

Make new friends. Swagger over to the fun people; they’re the ones laughing the loudest and spilling stuff on the floor, usually a beverage. Introduce yourself to them. Share your innate knowledge of cute tricks. Balance a treat on your nose. Humans love that type of stuff. They’re natural born pet lovers. Shake some more hands.

Get out of your comfort zone. You’re a good dog. Shake. It’s good karma.

Hang by the food. That’s where the action will ALWAYS be. Don’t just be a taker and expect something for nothing. Offer humans something of value. Let them shake your hand, they love that.

What not to do

Drink too much. Lift your leg or squat indoors. Eat chocolate. Growl. Bite a finger while being handed a snack. Bark.

Those are ways to make sure you never get invited back. And you don’t want to be known as “that dog”, or have someone call you out at the party with a “Bad dog!”

Humans do enough of that. Not you. Remember, it’s have fun, be fun, make new friends and reconnect with old friends. Offer to be of assistance outside of the day to day.

Sure, the meek may inherit the earth, but they’re really not that much fun at parties.

Be large and in charge! Like me.

Rolo
Your Holiday Guardian Angel